What If
by Rutabaga4
Summary: What if Lorelai went to see her mother for a different reason in the pilot episode.


What If

A woman walked up to an imposing manor house, she took a deep breath and hesitantly rang the bell.

An older woman opened the door, looking surprised at who had unexpectedly arrived at her door.

"Hi, Mom" the woman said with forced enthusiasm.

"Lorelai, my goodness, this is a surprise. Is it Easter already?"

Lorelai laughed nervously, "No, I just finished up my business class and I thought I would stop by."

"To see me?" her mother asked suspiciously.

"Yes"

"Well, isn't that nice. Come in."

Lorelai walked inside her former home and together they walked into the living room.

"The place looks great."

"It hasn't changed."

Lorelai takes a seat opposite from her mother and nervously glances around the room.

"You said you were taking a business class?"

"Yeah, I'm taking a business class at the college twice a week. I'm sure I told you."

"Well, if you're sure then you must have. Would you like some tea?"

"I would love some coffee," Lorelai replied.

"Emily? I'm home," someone called from another room, Emily looked up.

"We're in here" she calls back.

A tall man dressed in a very smart suit entered the living room.

"Hi, Dad"

"What is it, Christmas already?" the man enquires as he stares at his daughter.

"Lorelai was taking a business class at the college today and decided to drop in to see us."

said Emily.

"What business class?" he asked,

"Well, she told us about it dear, remember?" probed Emily.

"No."

"Well, actually, I came here for a reason. Dad, would you mind sitting down for a minute." Lorelai was getting more nervous by the second.

"You need money," her father answered with a hint of arrogance in his voice.

"I have a situation," Lorelai explained.

"You need money," her father repeated.

"Dad, will you please just let me get this out, okay. I found out a few months ago, I fo-und

o-ut," Lorelai stuttered.

"What" her father practically shouted.

"I found out, okay, I found out I'm sick" Lorelai said softly.

"What!" both her father and mother said together.

"I'm sick, there doesn't seem to be anything the doctors can do and I came here because I needed to ask you something."

"Lorelai your sick, what's wrong, I need to know what's wrong now" Emily shouted.

"It's, it's cancer but I need to ask," Lorelai was suddenly interrupted by her mother.

"Cancer, oh God" she muttered more to herself than to anyone in the room.

"Why didn't you tell us about this sooner. You said it was a few months ago," Her father shouted.

Lorelai sighed as she watched her father pace around the living room.

"Look I need your help and it's irrelevant why I didn't tell you about this sooner."

"Irrelevant, irrelevant" her father shouted again,

"Richard please calm down, you said you wanted to ask us something," Emily asked in a flat unemotional voice.

"Rory, I need someone to look after Rory" Lorelai asked.

"Look after Rory and you came to us. Now I'm really shocked" Richard exclaimed as his pacing ceased.

"Please, I'm sorry I walked away but I wanted something else for Rory" Lorelai stated sadly.

"So we weren't good enough for you then, why suddenly are we good enough now," Richard shouted again.

"Look this isn't what I wanted. I want to be there for Rory always but I can't. We all made mistakes but Rory hasn't made any" Lorelai sighed.

"You don't think you'll recover" Emily suddenly asked.

"Mom I'm dying. So no I don't hold much hope for recovery."

"Your going to die," Emily said in a heart breaking voice. "I don't believe it, your not going to die, I simply won't allow it."

"Whether you believe it or not its going to happen" Lorelai paused for a moment then continued. "Look I don't want to talk about this here. I came to talk about Rory she needs someone and as much as it pains me to admit it she needs you."

"She needs us, does she know?" Richard asked in an oddly soft voice after all of his shouting.

"No" Lorelai replied sadly.

"You haven't even told her, why," Richard asked as he moved to sit down next to his wife.

"I was waiting to find out if anything had changed, I'll tell her soon I just needed to talk to you both first" replied Lorelai.

"Changed, what were you hoping would change" asked Emily.

"The prognosis at first the doctors believed surgery would help, it didn't."

"My God you had surgery, you were in the hospital? Why didn't you call us then" Emily asked desperately.

"I guess I was in was denial, Rory thought I was away with my business class."

"Is there a business class?" Richard asked as he reached for Emily's hand.

"No, it's a cover. I wish it were true, I was in Hartford to see my oncologist. He said I needed to get my affairs in order, that's why I came."

Emily had suddenly started to cry, Lorelai stared at her concerned she had never seen her mother cry before.

"I'm sorry Mom." Lorelai said softly as tears began to fall from her own eyes.

Seeing Lorelai crying in front of them, suddenly shocked them both. Lorelai had always been so resilient, nothing ever kept her down for long.

"Lorelai I'm so sorry this had to happen. Really I'm mad as hell at you for not calling sooner but sweetheart I'm so sorry."

As Emily spoke she moved to sit beside her daughter, pulling her into an awkward embrace.

"I'm, I'm sorry too" said Richard as he watched his wife and daughter sitting so closely together.

"I don't want you to be angry anymore, I want us to make amends. For you and for Rory," said Lorelai once her sobbing had subsided.

"I know it won't be easy for us. I know there are a lot of things in my past that you are ashamed of. But we need to sort out our feeling before it's too late." said Lorelai.

"Feelings are hard in this family" replied Emily, "We brush far too many things under the carpet."

"That's true but it has to stop. I want you to be able to forgive and forget so Rory can grow up in a happy environment. Where the memory of her mother is happy and not a taboo."

"A taboo?" Richard queered.

"I mean I want her to be able to discuss me without fear that you will change the subject. Or point out to her all of my short comings"

"We would never do that, never. It will be hard for me to discuss you with Rory but only because I will miss you so much" said Emily sadly.

"Just love her, please and hug her everyday, tell her that you love her constantly. Be proud of her and tell her that your proud of her and please let her be who she wants to be."

"We will try our hardest Lorelai, I promise. I'm so sorry that I never did those things for you."

said Emily.

"It will be different with Rory, but I want you to know that we always loved you Lorelai I'm sorry we didn't show it enough," Richard said solemnly.

Emily pulled Lorelai closer and whispered "I was always so proud of you, in everything you accomplished and I want you to know I was never ashamed of you, never."

Lorelai started to cry again at her mothers words, she had waited all her life to here those words.

"Lorelai," said Richard softly. "Your our daughter, our one and only of course we're proud. We just missed you being in our lives so much that we behaved badly when you visited us. I hope you can forgive us too sweetheart."

Lorelai reached for her fathers hand and squeezed it gently, "Why did we wait so long" she lamented.

"We were stupid" Emily said as she wiped a tear from her daughters cheek.

"We won't be stupid anymore," Richard announced as he tenderly stroked Lorelai's hand.

"Promise"

"Promise."


End file.
